A Great Day in Publishing

by Porscha Burke, Associate Publisher of Storehouse Voices

I couldn’t believe it when Milton sent the video. He’d scouted a location, at my request, for a photograph of today’s book publishing professionals, inspired by the work of the greats: Art Kane and Gordon Parks. Those two legends had photographed jazz icons and hip-hop masters (respectively), in front of a quintessential brownstone in Harlem, NY. But Milton hadn’t selected a brownstone. The video he took showed the majestic front of the historic Riverside Church in the City of New York.

And there couldn’t be a better location.

I’d reached out to Milton Washington, the brilliant, Harlem-based photographer who, alongside novelist Connie Briscoe, brought the book Stepping Out to visual life. When I edited Stepping Out, our comparative title was Contact High, " an inside look at the work of hip-hop photographers told through their most intimate diaries—their contact sheets.” That book included shots of the famed Gordon Parks photograph, “A Great Day in Hip-Hop.”

For years I sat with a printout of that photo at my desk. As a child of hip-hop culture—in every sense of the phrase—my ability to hold space in an iconic literary organization such as Penguin Random House was made possible because of that beautiful, powerful, original art form. Inspired by the poets and modern-day griots who soundtracked my life—Q-Tip and Phife, Posdnous and Trugoy the Dove—I accepted early on that being good at words was cool and felt uniquely purposed to help connect new generations of storytellers with the audiences that need their message. My medium would be pages more than stages, but the heart was the same—especially hailing from the streets of NYC.

And now, Milton was suggesting a venue for our re-creation that also held special meaning to me.

Riverside Church was where we memorialized Dr. Maya Angelou in 2014. It was where I encountered the powerful psalms of Dr. James A. Forbes Jr. (its senior minister emeritus) and the beautiful messaging of Rev. Dr. Amy Butler, whose tenure at Riverside informed our work on her book, Beautiful and Terrible Things.

I could think of no more fitting location for this moment.

When Cheryl Magazine invited Tamira Chapman to be photographed for its cover, Tamira asked for our full imprint, Storehouse Voices to be included, stating that her innovation in publishing is more a collective achievement than an individual one. When she shared that idea with me, my mind flashed back to that Gordon Parks photo—thinking that the founding of our new imprint is really a story of generations of publishing successes. Storehouse Voices is here because of the work of so many others—all the Black girls and men and beings who walked publishing house hallways without much representation, or who were welcomed in times when Blackness was in vogue, but not necessarily nurtured once sociopolitical climates changed.

Toni Morrison, an editor before she was a novelist. Marie Brown, an assistant before becoming an agent and mentor to icons. These are just two of the icons whose work paved the path for our new venture. And in this photo, their legacies are elevated by those whose names often go unheralded—our foreign rights and contracts directors, our royalties managers and marketing assistants, our production editors and book designers. What a blessing to see them all cheering, during this Black History Month where we all feel an acute need for community, for respect, for solidarity, for an image inspired by the art forms (both jazz and rap music) that helped give a certain voice to the culture, helped us be heard far beyond the chambers of our local juke joints or pulpits. I could not be more grateful to have participated, to have helped curate, to have carried decades of inspiration with me and share in that light with our beautiful publishing colleagues. We were well-met by writers who also understand the power of that place and of music: Deesha Philyaw, Damon Young, Robert Jones Jr.—not to mention newcomers to the industry. There are so many others whose hard work and extraordinary efforts still don’t get the respect or the praise they have long deserved. But it was a great day in publishing. And it’s more important than ever that we persevere to ensure the great days to come for writers, readers, storytellers, and listeners worldwide.

WOMEN AND WORDS COVER SHOOT

Behind the scenes of Cheryl Magazine’s Women and Words overshoot was a whirlwind of creative energy and meticulous planning, bringing together a diverse range of editors, writers, and photographers who all shared the goal of spotlighting women’s voices. Everyone on set was driven by a shared passion for celebrating voices that too often go unheard, resulting in a dynamic atmosphere where collaboration and artistry flourished. The resulting images and interviews revealed both the elegance and determination of the featured women, underscoring Cheryl Magazine’s commitment to championing female perspectives and inspiring a powerful conversation around words and empowerment.

Location: Riverside Church, New York, NY

Photographer: Marco Antonio Photography

Photographer: Milton Washington

Make-Up: Giselle Flores

Cover Design:  Shannon SG Jarrett

Video BTS: Alaina Pinkney

From Tears to Flower Doodles

Foxxy Wizdom with Charmaine Roots Castillo

From Tears to Flower Doodles

As I sit humbly waiting on my thoughts for this edition of Foxxy Wizdom to gather, just one day before the submission deadline, the pressure manifests as frustration and feelings of worthlessness. "I've got nothing," I hear myself say. It's what I had been hearing in my head for the past three weeks, but this time, I said it aloud. 

It's 3 a.m. I'm quietly awaiting lady inspiration when I hear those words again. "I've got nothing." My eyes burn, and a tear releases, landing on my empty legal pad--yes, I love writing on legal pads--the yellow ones. I immediately draw a circle around the teardrop and use it as the backdrop of a flower doodle. I look at my sketch, smile, and reflect on how I just created a flower from a teardrop. Finding the brighter perspective has always been my uncanny ability and something I desire to impart to the readers of Cheryl Magazine every issue to encourage and foster hope. But a hectic schedule, looming deadlines, and feeling overwhelmed had me lethargic and feeling like I was in a slump without a written plan on how I intended to meet my goal. All of this stifled my creativity. No written plan of action is the equivalent of no action. 

The countless tasks awaiting me felt like visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. I needed to capture the thoughts and write them down. I could not find the energy to do anything except indulge in my guilty pleasure, laughing out loud as I binge-watched the comedic clips of Katt Williams. It is good to laugh. At that moment, though, I was laughing away the pain of procrastination. It was a temporary fix, and I knew I had to do better. I had a deadline and needed to write something. I pick up my pen and faintly hear, "I've got nothing." I then heard an even louder thought that sounded a lot like Katt Williams! In his voice, I heard, "No wonder you ain't got nothin', cuz that's what you been sayin' for the last three weeks. Do you really expect somethin' to all of a sudden manifest when you keep sayin' you ain't got nothing? What happened to positive affirmations?" Lord, have mercy! A real-time epiphany with the voice of Katt Williams? I had to pick myself up and allow my actions to align with my goals. An affirmative pep talk of positive affirmations was in order. In this case: I will stop procrastinating, I am a good steward of my time, I will write down my goals and give them a completion date, I will deliver what I promised, I will check out Katt Williams when my work is done! 

What is the lesson here? Quietly listening to the voice of inadequacy is not fruitful. Giving in to those feelings is harmful. Let me ask you, what have you been saying to yourself? Is it true? Do you quietly listen to the voice of your feelings in moments when you are not at your best? Do you give in to the negativity and voice words that sabotage your creativity? We must speak positivity and life of abilities and ourselves. Say to ourselves what we know we are, not what we feel we are in a singular low moment. Say what we can do, not talk ourselves out of our abilities, especially concerning something we know we are fully capable of on any other day.

Moving forward, I will be intentional about which thoughts I will feed because I can't afford to speak negative things out loud. It can be costly. I value the gift entrusted to me, and I present it with the purest heart. I am well able to master every task given to me. I celebrate myself and my abilities with thanksgiving and humbleness, knowing that Wisdom comes on the wings of humility. Now that’s some Foxxy Wizdom!

How to Find Luxury Items for Less

Style Matters

Keri. L. Henderson

Many people are using the time since Covid to revamp and elevate their personal look. I have worked with clients who see the adjustment to the new normal as an opportunity to invest in themselves and create a style that makes them feel confident, providing a true reflection of how they want to represent themselves online and in person. After all, the pandemic won’t last forever, and when it’s time again to meet in person, travel, or speak in front of audiences, why not be prepared.

I teach clients how to extend the life of their wardrobe. One of the ways to do that is to invest in higher-quality pieces. Always invest in the highest quality you can afford. If you want to add a few designer pieces to your wardrobe without having to pay full price, below are three great places to shop to find luxury for less.

1.    Sample Sales

Because brands have so much inventory to move, you will find items at sample sales available at deeply discounted prices. If you want to enjoy extra savings, wait until the last few days of the sale to shop. Often you will be able to shop and receive additional percentages off your purchase like "save an extra 20% off," "buy 2 get 20% off," "buy 3 get 30% off," etc. 

For years, most sample sales were in person only in major cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Miami. These days, you can now shop sample sales in person in cities all over and online. 260 Sample Sale and Eclipse are the leading companies to host weekly sample sales for major brands. You can visit their websites and join their email list to get notified when sample sales are happening.

2.    Discount Stores

Nordstrom Rack, Saks Off Fifth, Gilt, Last Call Neiman Marcus, and The Outnet are just a few great discount stores to shop luxury for less. I needed a new leather jacket after retiring the one I had for twelve years. I found a new luxury jacket online at Nordstrom Rack for under $200!

When it comes to these types of stores, there is a lot of inventory, so you will need to have patience when shopping. Before scrolling through online or going rack-by-rack in a store, have a list of the specific items you want. A list will help you filter your selections online or guide you to departments when shopping in person in stores. These discount stores offer great deals, but they can be overwhelming if you are not prepared.

3.    Consignment Shops

These days, there are as many consignment shops available online as in local communities. The Real Real and Luxury Garage Sale are two popular online consignment stores that you can use to shop for pre-owned designer clothing and accessories or to sell designer items that you no longer want to keep. 

What’s great about consignment shops is that they have luxury items you probably would not find anywhere else. You can expect to find high-end brands like Chanel, Gucci, and so much more. The pieces sold at consignment shops are verified authentic, so when shopping, you will know with assurance that you are walking away with genuine, high-quality items. 

If you are ready to add luxury items to your closet, these are great places to start. You will not only extend the life of your wardrobe, but you’ll save yourself time and money.

Get amazing tips, hacks, essentials and more all at KeriHenderson.com!

Keri Henderson is an LA based personal fashion stylist who works with clients in-person and virtually. Follow her on IG at @kerilhenderson and #StyledbyKeri, and on Facebook at Keri Henderson.

Safety Net

Money Talk

 Roni M. Benjamin

 What is your plan to handle your next inevitable crisis? Create a safety net with your emergency fund. For years, I did not value the benefits and resources money could afford my family and me. I will admit I mismanaged my income by overspending on entertainment, eating out, groceries, clothing, etc. I avoided thinking about or planning for the unexpected. This behavior cost me greatly. I missed out on lucrative business opportunities, paid higher interest on loans, and was not a good source of relief for my family in need. Humans are creatures of habit. Change, however, is inevitable. Whether it is a pandemic, job loss, or changes in the market that impact your ability to create income, life without an emergency fund is risky. There are great relief and safety in having a financial plan, but more importantly, a strategy. Start with a budget. There are digital tools available, or you can go old school like me and use an excel budget sheet. 

You may be wondering how much should I set aside for a safety net? Ideally, you want to set aside enough emergency cash in your checking or savings account to cover six months of your income or your living expenses. A twelve-month cushion may be more sensible for small business owners or those working in highly unpredictable industries. The simplest way to get started is to put aside an exact amount each month into a separate account. Nickname the account “emergency fund” if you must. Now, if you are interested in accelerating the process, consider depositing all or a portion of your tax refund and employment bonus into this account. Typically, this is money that doesn’t fall inside your regular monthly budget, and it is often much easier to save these bonuses without feeling deprived.

On the other hand, you may be able to use the built-up cash value in a whole life or universal life insurance policy as a source of funds in an emergency. A policy’s cash value accumulates over time, and unlike a bank loan, you do not have to pay back a loan against the cash value, and withdrawals are tax-free. Understand that when you borrow against your policy’s cash value, it will reduce the death benefit your loved ones receive.

Another suggestion would be to establish a personal line of credit or a home equity line of credit. These are not for everyday purposes, of course, but in case of a true financial emergency. Be responsible if this is your choice. Pay on time and use less than 30 percent of the available credit to maintain a great credit score. Credit experts will concur.

Do not wait until it is too late and an emergency presents itself. Procrastination is the enemy of success. Success is having a well-thought-out financial plan for the unforeseen. By having enough funds set aside for immediate but unexpected cash needs, you’ll be in a much better position to weather short-term financial turmoil and market volatility while remaining on track toward your long-term goals and objectives. 

As a Financial Professional, I am committed to helping individuals and business owners build a solid financial house one phase at a time. Regardless of your location in the country, if anything you read resonates with you or incites you to move to action, I encourage you to reach out to me. Together let’s create a plan specific to your needs.

I am a financial services professional committed to helping individuals and businesses build a solid financial house and leave a legacy for their children’s children. I don’t know where you’re located in the world, but if anything mentioned resonates with you or incites you to move to action, I encourage you to reach out to me. Together, let’s create a plan for you and your family specific to your needs.

Licensed New York Life Insurance Company Agent

Financial Editor, Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, and winner of Dr. Boyce Watkins’ 2020 #BlackOwnedBusiness Pitch Competition

Call or text (770) 685-5532

KidzMic Founder Kira Pugh: There is Still Positivity in the World

Girl Power

Bringing you another young female change-maker, Cheryl Magazine is excited to highlight up-and-coming mogul Kira Pugh, born into a family filled with music professionals and Black History firsts. For nearly half of Kira’s life, her mom has been on GRAMMY-winner Anthony Hamilton’s management team. Her maternal grandfather was a drummer for The Isley Brothers. Her great grandfather, Franklin Seay, a member of the first Black High School basketball championship team, uncle William “Billy” Harvey Goines, first Black Navy Seal, and great great grandfather, Dr. Charles Turner, first black dentist in Ohio, are all in the Smithsonian Museum. 

Surrounded by barrier breakers, whether family or other influential leaders and artists, Kira learned to notice their effect on people. With encouragement from her great grandmother Beverly Seay to “lean into her abilities,” Kira decided that other kids should have access to the powerful positivity she experiences, so she co-founded KidzMic. “KidzMic helps show kids like us some of the best-kept success secrets from GRAMMY-winning musicians, world leaders, rising stars, and leading professionals in the arts and entertainment industry,” says Kira. “We show kids like us that there is still positivity in the world and that one of the most impactful ways that kids can make a positive mark is through arts and sciences.”

Kira, media host, author, speaker, and entrepreneur, started KidzMic because of the negativity she saw in the world; and the music heard on the radio. “I originally wanted a music CD of all my favorite songs. I took that idea and decided to share positive songs with the world.”

KidzMic is a STEAM, music, media, & lifestyle brand for kids. Their leadership skill-boosting CD Kidz Mic: Act 1 is full of hit songs by Alicia Keys, Bruno Mars, Lauryn Hill, Kirk Franklin, and more, sung by kids; mixed with self-affirmations and positive peer pressure. In addition to on-location interviews at concerts and events with celebrities and leaders willing to share tips to help kids succeed, Kira is also the co-host of MusicLeaderz Podcast with her brother, co-founder, Skye Pugh. “My brother is the science of our duo. He helps with YouTube video ideas. It’s fun to work with your sibling because they are always there to talk about ideas.”

The two aim to create positive media experiences for kids while continuing to develop their brand. They love science and have led STEAM demonstrations for libraries, Atlanta Public School System, girls’ organizations, and more. They are code-happy science mavens but embrace the A (art) in STEAM through music. Kira and Skye have a natural knack for music. Their dad was a DJ for Kirk Franklin and asked to serve as DJ on the elite teaching staff for Jam Master Jay's Los Angeles SCRATCH Academy. By including art and music, Kira and Skye help kids unlock their love for STEAM and leadership. Leadership is another passion of the dynamic duo. These young leaders have voted on the U.S. House Floor. Kira was a judge alongside billionaire Paul Judge and NBA Champion J. Powell for the West Side StartUp Hackathon by Experian and Washington D.C.’s The Opportunity Hub. The two were joint speakers and “Let’s Move” dance session hosts for the C.H.O.I.C.E.S. Atlanta Winter Children's Festival. They also performed and were featured artists for #IAM: Designing My Freedom at the Georgia International Convention Center. Both have spoken at various events before tens of thousands and have also led several successful fundraisers to help others.

Kira Pugh is what Girl Power is all about. She is just beginning to make her mark, and Cheryl Magazine is here for it!

"It means a lot to me to be selected as the #GirlPower feature. I love the magazine and its goal. I hope I can help inspire other girls who want to start a business or who need to see more positivity in the world as fuel to help them keep reaching higher and higher and break barriers. You never know who might need whatever you will do after you conquer your fear.”

Kira looks forward to college someday, but in the meantime, concentrates on growing the KidzMic brand. Connect with KidzMic on all social media outlets @KidzMic. To purchase KidzMic merchandise, go to kidzmic.com. Shop Amazon and other retailers for their #1 bestselling book, "Future So Bright" by Kidz Mic.

Help Protect Your Standard of Living

Money Talk

Roni M. Benjamin, Finance Editor

What can you personally do about the nation’s debt, higher interest rates, outsourced overseas jobs, corporate greed, and political scandal? When you pay too much attention to national or international economic news, you can find yourself making decisions that don't make sense for your particular economy. What matters is managing your economy and stabilizing your financial well-being for you and your family. 

Economists typically measure a person’s standard of living in the following degrees: luxury, comfort, getting by, bare necessities, and charity. Regardless of your level of wealth, comfort, needs, or material goods, two things affect your current standard of living: Income and Assets. If you were to lose your income, will your assets sustain your lifestyle, or will your quality of living roll downhill from comfort to bare necessity? It’s not always easy to ask yourself these questions. Sometimes it means admitting that you made a mistake or that you’re failing at handling your affairs now. Nevertheless, taking personal inventory of your relationship with your money and the obligations of your household is a great place to start. Let’s explore some other factors that could put pressure on your standard of living:

Disability rates increase due to population aging and increases in chronic health conditions, among other causes. Almost everyone is likely to experience some form of disability, temporary or permanent, at some point in life. A disability can affect how much income your household receives.

Income Taxes certainly impact economic growth in your home. When your income level changes, so do the amount of taxes you pay to the government. 

Retirement is the point at which a person chooses permanently to leave the workforce. Most Americans retire between ages 67 and 75 and live off 60 percent of the income earned during their working years. 

Death in a family can profoundly affect a person or family members for an extended period. The emotional stress caused can impact one’s ability to work or focus at school. In addition, there are financial burdens the family may face because of loss of income. 

Inflation means your savings and fixed income lose purchasing power as time passes and the cost of goods and services goes up. For example, if the average annual inflation rate is three percent over the next twenty years, it will cost you $181 to buy the same items you can buy today with $100. As it pertains to purchasing power, this means that $100 today will be worth only $55.37 in twenty years.

Consider the following to provide a “wedge” that will help allow your family’s standard of living to stay in place no matter what happens:

1.     Ensure you have disability insurance that you own independently from your employer to help supplement your income during your disability period.

2.     Include tax diversification ideas into your investment strategies. The strategy of tax diversification can be used to help build wealth now and in the future. It’s a strategy that considers a variety of investment accounts you will eventually use for income after you stop working. A tax-efficient withdrawal strategy coupled with tax diversification could help your assets last longer in retirement and help you build wealth.

3.     Your retirement plan should consider the following risk: unexpected personal events, long-term medical needs, financial needs to cover expenses, travel and outstanding liabilities, changes to Medicare and Social Security. Giving thought to such factors will allow you to create a lifetime of income with your retirement plan.

4.     Death is never a comfortable conversation to have. However, if the worst should happen and you don’t have your financial affairs in order, you’ll leave your loved ones with an emotional and financial burden. Consider life insurance to cover lost income after you die. A good rule of thumb is to have enough life insurance to equal ten times your annual salary. Speak with your financial professional to find the right coverage. 

5.     The most powerful way to protect from inflation is to increase your earning ability and income. A five percent annual raise, or a promotion that nets you a twenty percent gain, will combat inflation. Consider certifications and higher education to help increase your earning potential and consider investing in the stock market—specifically, investments that hedge against inflation.

I am a financial services professional committed to helping individuals and businesses build a solid financial house and leave a legacy for their children’s children. We would love to talk to you about your specific goals, help you construct your unique economy, and protect or improve your standard of living. 

Roni M Benjamin

Call or text (770) 685-5532

Wardrobe Tips for Your Next Brand Photoshoot

by Keri L. Henderson

One of the many things this pandemic has forced us to do is re-evaluate our lives and think about who we are and what we want to do.

Many have pivoted over the last year, and with a pivot comes an opportunity to shift and elevate your personal brand.

One way to do that is to take new brand photos used online (including your website and social media platform) to promote you and your business. 

A lot of time and effort goes into choosing a photographer, where to hold the shoot, and the type of photos needed. Wardrobe is one part of the process that gets neglected until the last minute. 

If you are planning a brand photoshoot, the same time and effort you put into finding a photographer and shoot location should go into selecting your outfits. If you’re feeling stuck, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Minimum of Three Outfits

Your shoot images will be seen in several places: your website, your social media platform, press features, etc. Having multiple outfits will give you the flexibility to use the photos across several platforms, showcasing your personality. 

Fit is Key!

Fit is the key to creating great personal style, and it helps you feel confident in an outfit. When you look good, you feel good, and that kind of confidence will shine through. Make sure you try on all of your photoshoot outfits before the day of your shoot. Give yourself a few weeks to finalize outfits and try everything on. If you need to see a tailor, you’ll have enough time to have the alterations completed. 

Realistic Outfits

The outfits you wear for a brand photoshoot should represent you! If you don’t like wearing suits, you don’t have to wear one for your shoot. The outfits you choose should reflect your persona and showcase who potential clients can expect to meet if they work with you. Remember, this is your brand photoshoot, so never feel compelled to show up looking like anyone other than yourself.

Fear of Abandonment

Daddy Issues

Our subconscious low-key has a way of tucking away some of our greatest fears. Except, those fears are not actually tucked away. They are more like, hidden in plain sight. These fears are a culmination of some of our most impactful experiences. You know, the traumas we have experienced that seemingly caused us to make an internal vow never to put ourselves in that situation again. The ones we just brushed off and “forgot.” We move on, continue living life, and taking care of business, but there’s just one little problem. Our subconscious never forgot those experiences. It has been acting as a protector ever since. It's not necessarily wrong attempting to move on. However, sometimes, if we do not slow down and take inventory of ourselves, the situations we’ve encountered, and how our bodies respond to similar circumstances, we can miss the opportunity to explore why we are the way we are and why we do the things we do.

I took the initiative to seek counseling. When I began unpacking some of my traumas, I realized I was subconsciously holding onto one of my biggest fears—the fear of abandonment. I further understood that this was how I was navigating through my relationships, both personal and familial. Abandonment issues can surface in a variety of ways: the desire to please others, giving too much in a relationship, an inability to trust, or in my case, not wanting to let go and persisting in unhealthy relationships. I found myself continually wanting to make things work, whether it was with friends, family members, or significant others. Unfortunately, this was mainly to my detriment. Sitting in therapy, when I first recalled feeling abandoned, I could not believe that it had appeared to follow me my whole life. It created this habit of trying so hard not to lose who or what I thought I needed. When we think about it, isn’t it ironic that we essentially abandon ourselves when we stick around in situations that do not serve us properly? This realization alone was a game-changer for me. Attempting to hold on to someone toxic was not going to assist me in eliminating my fears. So, I placed the responsibility for healing on myself. The path to healing may look different for everyone, but here are Seven Tips I found helpful while working through my fears of abandonment.

1. Acknowledge your hurt.

2. Show yourself grace and compassion.

3. Practice becoming emotionally self-reliant by making it your responsibility to cheer yourself up if you’re down.

4. Find what makes you happy and do it often.

5. Don’t be afraid to be your most authentic self.

6. Pay attention to how you feel when around others. The people who are supposed to be in your life won’t make you feel like you have to work hard to get them to stay.

7. Lastly, in the words of Fantasia Barrino, understand that “sometimes you gotta lose to win again,” so don’t hesitate to value yourself enough to walk away.

Thank you for joining me again for Daddy Issues. Why the name? I aim to reverse the feeling women get every time we hear that phrase. There is a stigma attached to it. It’s often used as a weapon, with the intent to make us feel like we are the problem. Dispelling the misnomer includes providing new information on something that was named before its true nature was known. I’ll attempt to do that in each Cheryl Magazine issue as I address behaviors and characteristics that developed from our father’s lack of skill and ability to bond with, encourage, teach, or support us. To all the young girls and grown women. It was never your fault. The issue was his. And because of your daddy’s issue, you found yourself improperly navigating relationships. Let’s talk about it. For the record, Daddy Issues is an opinion column. I’m not a clinical professional or expert on the subject. I’m just a girl who needed her daddy. If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram: @tessalexandria_ or Facebook: Tess Alexandria. If you have questions or a topic you’d like to discuss, email me at tess@cherylmagazine.com

Singer, Best-selling Author, Radio Personality,

and Contributing Editor for Cheryl Magazine

Gratitude is an ingredient of happiness

Gratitude is an ingredient of happiness

by Tyreese McAllister

Most people strive to be happy, then happier, and then happiest. Many people believe they will achieve happiness when they have the things that demonstrate some form of success, such as a big house, an expensive car, or a stellar career. Most of us have grown up hearing, “money cannot buy you happiness.” My reply was, “they must not know where to shop.” I found, like many others, that despite achieving career success and accumulating many things, I was still unfulfilled, searching for the next big thing. I did not find my happy place until I became grateful for what I already had. Happiness cannot be found in the accumulation of things or the accolades from others, nor can it be achieved from extrinsic factors alone. This one key ingredient is already in you. It's simple and yet profound at the same time—it's GRATITUDE!

[Self-help author] Melody Beattie said, "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."

What is gratitude?

[German theologian and philosopher] Meister Eckhart said, "If the only prayer you say in your life is 'thank you,' that would suffice."

Gratitude entails being appreciative, counting your blessings, appreciating small joys, and acknowledging all you get and, in some cases, what you do not get. It is learning to live life as if everything is a miracle; constantly conscious of being blessed. Gratitude redirects your emphasis from what is lacking in your life to the richness that is already available. 

How does gratitude work?

Gratitude, in all its manifestations, is linked to pleasure. Whether we express "thank you" to someone or receive it from someone else, the sensation is one of sheer happiness and encouragement. Expressions of gratitude aid in forming and maintaining long-term relationships, help us deal with adversity, and encourage us to rise above bad experiences with strength and determination.

How does gratitude benefit you?

1. Gratitude can help you feel better. People who express appreciation for the good things in their lives are happier overall, which leads to decreased rates of stress and sadness.

2. Practicing appreciation might help you become more hopeful. According to studies, those who express gratitude daily tend to have a more optimistic view of life.

3. Gratitude helps to develop adaptive coping skills. In addition, it improves our emotional resilience and inner strength by managing good feelings of contentment, happiness, and pleasure.  

4. Professional dedication is strengthened by gratitude. Grateful employers promote a more efficient, productive, and responsible workforce. Employers who practice expressing appreciation are more likely to get their staff to volunteer for more projects, be ready to go beyond to complete their responsibilities, and work joyfully as part of a team. 

What are some ways to demonstrate gratitude?

A big step is to incorporate thankfulness into your daily routine, then practice it! Here are a few suggestions of ways to practice thankfulness to improve the well-being of you and your family. 

1. Maintain a Journal. Begin and end each day by jotting down three things for which you are grateful. Writing things down is crucial because it gives you the time to be intentional with your gratitude.  

2. Pray. When you feel overwhelmed with irritation or disappointment, pause and reset your mind with prayer. Begin with being grateful for what you already have and what is going well, and then make your petition known to God.

3. Give back. Express your gratitude to individuals who do something for you. You can write a message, send flowers, or give a gift to show your appreciation.

What does the research say about gratitude?

Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University and Robert Emmons of the University of California, [Davis] conducted a study on counting blessings versus burdens and gratitude's impact on well-being. Findings revealed regular thankfulness exercises increased reported levels of alertness, excitement, resolve, optimism, and vitality. Furthermore, study participants reported lower levels of sadness and stress, were more willing to help others, exercised more frequently, and made more remarkable progress toward personal objectives. 

When you count your blessings, you will notice that you begin to enjoy simple pleasures and things you used to take for granted. Thankfulness is not only a response to receiving what you desire but rather ongoing gratitude recognizing the small things and searching for the positive, even in difficult situations. Begin bringing appreciation to your experiences now, rather than waiting for a joyous event to feel grateful. In this manner, you will be on your path to happiness and becoming a master of gratitude.

MIX. POUR. CELEBRATE

Cheryl’s Signature Delux Frozen Margarita

Break out your margarita ingredients! Sociologie is going to teach you how to make Cheryl's signature Deluxe Frozen Margarita, as published in The Get’em Girls’ Guide to the Perfect Get-Together.

Ingredients

Ice Cubes

1 10-oz can frozen Margarita drink mix

(recommended: Bacardi)

½ cup + 2 tablespoons tequila

(recommended: Petrón Silver)

½ cup + 2 tablespoons Triple Sec

6 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons orange liqueur

(recommended: Grand Marnier)

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We’re celebrating.

Confetti & Cocktails: Our First Year Anniversary

Friday, April 1, 2022 at 6:00 P.M. CST.

It’s Virtual. It’s FABULOUS!

Happy Anniversary to Us! Cheryl Magazine celebrates one full year of lifting the voices of capable, daring, inspiring women who spark change on the local, national, and international levels. We want you to join us for a virtual celebration of powerful women in business, media, and community leadership.

Virtual? You might be asking. Yes, but wait! Before you put that sassy sequin number or red carpet showstopper back in the closet, know this, SIS, WE’RE VIRTUAL, BUT WE’RE FABULOUS! It's a cocktail party, awards celebration, and so much more, and we're dressing the part. Come prepared to mix, mingle, network, shop, dance, and enjoy great performances and presentations in an exceptional virtual 3D experience as we salute those who made this successful year possible.

So then, the question is the same as if the event were live. What, oh what should you wear? Here are some tips on how to prepare for a formal virtual event. Come on now; don’t act like you didn’t dress up for at least one of the VERSUZ virtual concerts. We know we did, so let’s have some fun!

1. Yep, you guessed it, HAVE FUN! Step into the evening prepared to have a great time. Your energy should be your number one wardrobe choice. Get motivated to show up as excited and as grand as you would in person. That level of energy brings even more excitement to the evening and lets the host and honorees know that you are delighted to be in the virtual building.

2. Make an impression. We will mix, mingle, and network. You may even get the chance to talk with a celebrity or two, or three! Dazzle and make your mark, even online.

3. What if you do too much? HA! No such thing. Fabulous is FABULOUS, darlings! For an in-person event, sure, you would whip out your best dress or formal jumpsuit. There would be sequins, and jewels, and bling, oh my! We say, do it. Do it all. You should still do that for the virtual event. Be as gorgeous as you dare. It will make your host feel like their event is taken seriously, and it will allow you to get some wear out of your formal pieces and feel amazing in them.

4. Find great light! If your camera is on, don’t let all that fabulousness get hindered by bad lighting. Great lighting makes all the difference. There’s no better image or video than if you have the proper light pointed at yourself. Using the natural light setting on a ring light is quite complimentary, or finding the perfect spot in the room where, BAM, you’re all aglow, works as well. 

5. Come to party! There will be dancing, a virtual bar, and so much more! But, while we want to make sure you’re looking and feeling wonderful, and you have your favorite cocktail or glass of champagne in hand, shoes are optional!

Can’t wait to see you Friday, April 1!

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We’re celebrating.

Confetti & Cocktails: Our First Year Anniversary

Friday, April 1, 2022 at 6:00 P.M. CST.